I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
