Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
