What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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