One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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