Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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