I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
