im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
