I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
