Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
