just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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