i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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