her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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