worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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