guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
