I didn't shave. On purpose
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
