i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
