1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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