I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
