You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
