Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize