I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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