My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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