Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
