we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
