u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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