do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
