did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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