whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
