i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
