woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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