I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
