what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
