yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
