Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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