: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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