and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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