I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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