i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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