Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
