So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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