Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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