I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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