guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
