she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
