my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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