he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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