i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
