you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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