I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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