yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
