Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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