Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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