i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
