Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
