Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
