Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
