your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
