told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
