It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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