Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I will pee on everything he values.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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