I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
