I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
be right there i have to get my cape
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
