Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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