well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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