i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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